


An Unexpected Surprise

by maigonokaze



Series: Femslash February 2016 [7]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Accidental pregancy, Co-Parenting, F/F, Femslash February, One Night Stands, TWOC, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-05-19 00:52:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5950015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maigonokaze/pseuds/maigonokaze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arizona never thought she would have to worry about accidental pregnancy. But after a one night stand at a conference, she finds herself in just that situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One Night Stand

**Author's Note:**

> In response to a comment on ff.net saying Arizona isn't a fan of penises, I want to make sure we're all on the same page here: Arizona is a lesbian. She is not a fan of men (at least as far as sexual/romantic partners go). She is interested in women. A trans woman is a woman. Period, full stop, end of discussion.

Questions at professional conferences tend to fall into one of three categories: those intended to make the presenter look stupid, those posed to make the asker look good, and those that someone blurted out just to fill the silence after the presentation. As the lecture droned on, Arizona jotted down the occasional note and fumed. Nearly half the session still remained, but the list of questions Arizona had prepared most certainly fell into the first category. If nothing else, she didn't want any of the other doctors present to leave this conference thinking that the course of action recommended by this lecturer came anywhere close to approaching the standard of care. By the time she was done with him, this speaker would crawl with tail tucked between his legs back to whatever third-rate hospital had funded his blatantly biased “research.”

It turned out that she needn't have worried. As the session reached a close and the speaker asked for comments, another woman beat her to the punch. She sat across the aisle from Arizona, and a row ahead, and shot to her feet the moment the floor opened for questions. She cut an imposing figure, nearly six feet tall with a thick afro and wearing a well-tailored pinstripe suit that accentuated her long and elegant frame. Her manicured nails traced down a list of notes at least as long as Arizona’s own as she prodded with question after question, methodically destroying the lecturer’s position. By the time the moderator announced the end of the session, half the room had turned to face her, crossing out and rewriting their session notes as they jotted down the information that would actually help them to _help_ their patients. But eventually the question period drew to a close and everyone stood to shuffle out into the halls of the convention center to find the meeting room for their next session or to duck out an hour early and hope to grab a seat at a nearby restaurant before the thousands of other attendees had the same idea.

As the room emptied, Arizona stood and approached the doctor who had so thoroughly decimated the lecturer’s argument. “I could swear you were reading my notes.”

The woman looked up from packing her notebook back into her bag. “At least there's some of us who know proper patient care for LGBT kids,” she said. “For a minute there I was pissed thinking that if I'd missed this session, everyone else in here would have walked away thinking that that conservative dinosaur’s course of treatment could pass for acceptable medicine.”

Arizona smiled. “I wouldn't have let that happen,” she assured her. “But you saved me the blood pressure spike of taking him on. So, thanks for that. I'm Arizona, by the way, Peds surgery.” She extended her hand.

“Janet, family practice.”

“Are you going to another session now or can I buy you a drink?”

Janet actually paused to scan the conference guidebook before answering. “I think that was my last one for the day, so sure. On the condition you let me buy you dinner in return?” Her dark eyes fixed on Arizona’s and a tentative smile accompanied the offer.

Arizona shouldered her tote bag. “Deal.”

* * *

Arizona honestly couldn't remember the last time she’d had this much fun on a date. She and Callie had both agreed, after that disastrous dinner with Penny at Meredith’s house, not to date anyone connected to the hospital. The few women she met away from the hospital either didn't like that she had a child, couldn't handle her long and erratic work hours, or had nothing in common with her outside of being sapphic women.

Janet took her to dinner at a classic Chicago deep-dish pizza place just a few blocks from the conference center. When they finally left the table - after sitting and talking so long that the waiter started giving them sidelong glances and Janet over-tipped to make up for it - they found a bar with live music and a loft with pool tables, where they could drink and play and listen to the music without suffering the crush of the crowded dance floor below.

The problem with traveling for a conference was that it meant walking everywhere, taking cabs, or renting a car. When they left the bar just after midnight, they had almost a full mile to go back to their hotel (they’d both booked through the conference, and were in the same hotel). Arizona leaned on Janet as they walked, a result of both being on her feet all day at the conference and having more than a few drinks that night. Janet wrapped an arm around her waist and didn't seem to mind as Arizona rested against her.

When they approached the hotel doors, Janet slowed. They hadn't actually talked about what they wanted after dinner and drinks. Arizona felt a little like the brash girl who used to kiss strangers in bar bathrooms when she slid her hand down from Janet's hip to her ass. “Come up with me?” she offered.

Janet smiled. “I'd love to.” She paused. “Arizona, there is something I should tell you before we go upstairs, though.”

Arizona stopped and pulled away from Janet’s side so she could turn and look at her. “What is it?”

“I’m trans, so...” she gestured downward, “my stuff looks a little different from most women's. I just wanted to make sure you know before we go upstairs.”

Arizona nodded. “Okay,” she said. She leaned forward to catch Janet’s lips in a kiss. “I have one leg,” she blurted out. Usually she didn’t put it quite so baldly, but tipsy-Arizona had a tendency to say whatever was on her mind.

Janet laughed. “I know,” she said. “You’ve been saying since we left the bar that you couldn’t wait to get back and take your leg off. I don't know how many other scenarios there are where that sentence makes sense, but I figured a prosthesis was the most likely option.”

“Right.” Arizona grinned.

They fell against each other in the hotel elevator, exploring with hungry lips and wandering hands during the ride up to the 23rd floor. Arizona was glad to have the ADA room right next to the elevator; they didn’t have to separate for long to make it from the elevator to her room.

Arizona went into the bathroom to take off her leg; she still didn’t like removing it around other people. When she came back out, Janet was waiting for her on the bed. Arizona stopped in the bathroom doorway, leaning on her crutches as she took in the sight. Janet stretched out on the bed in nothing more than her matching pink bra and boy-shorts.“You’re beautiful,” Arizona rasped, her mouth suddenly dry.

Janet flushed, color darkening her warm brown cheeks.

Arizona crossed the room and leaned her crutches against the wall as she sat on the edge of the bed. Then she lay down and rolled over to face Janet. Arizona ran her hand down Janet’s side, raising fine goosebumps in its wake. Janet wrapped her in her arms and their lips crashed together again.

At some point, Arizona remembered that she didn’t have any protection - dental dams or condoms. She said as much to Janet.

Janet stopped. “I don’t have anything either,” Janet said. “I wasn’t planning on meeting anybody this weekend. Do you want to stop? I think we passed a pharmacy a few blocks away; I could run out and get some.”

Arizona groaned. She didn’t want to stop. She moved slowly, grinding against Janet’s thigh wedged in between hers. “I got tested after my last girlfriend a few months ago,” she said. “And came up negative for any STIs. Do you have anything I should know about?”

Janet shook her head.

“Then fuck it,” Arizona said. She pulled Janet to her and kissed her deeply. “Let’s not worry about it.”

* * *

 

\--- Three months later --

“No, mija, ya te dice que necesitas arrumar tu cuarto antes que salir.” Arizona could hear Callie's stern voice before she even reached the apartment. That might have had something to do with the fact that the door hung ajar, Sofia's bag already sitting beside it.

“Mom, that's not _fair,_ ” Sofia whined, “Mama no me hace-”

“I don't make you do what?” Arizona interrupted as she reached the doorway. Sofia spotted her and her shoulders slumped. Her mothers exchanged knowing looks over her head.

“Nothing,” Sofia muttered. She looked to Callie.

“Ten minutes,” Callie warned, “and then I'm coming in to check on you.” The kindergartener knew better than to argue anymore, but that didn't stop the huff as she turned on her heel and stomped toward her room. Callie sighed and sank back onto the couch, wedging her hips between the armrest and the pile of laundry waiting to be folded. “I'm pretty sure she was about to try to tell me you don't make her clean her room before she leaves your house.”

“Ha,” Arizona snorted. This habit of trying to play her moms against each other was a relatively recent development and not one either Callie or Arizona approved of. Sofia never got away with it either - Callie and Arizona might not have the best history when it came to their romantic relationship, but their parenting skills were solid. “Eventually she's going to realize that doesn't work.”

Callie closed her eyes and leaned her head back into the soft cushion. “I don't know, I've seen some kids do that all the way through to high school - even with parents living in the same house.”

Arizona shifted aside a few stuffed animals to clear off space on the loveseat across the coffee table from Callie. She braced her weight on her good knee as she lowered herself into the seat, and couldn't stop the groan of relief as she relaxed. It would take Sofia more than ten minutes to clean her room, so she might as well get comfortable.

Callie frowned at Arizona’s groan. The shift from mildly amused frustration at Sofia's antics to concern for her ex-wife happened in an instant. “Long day?” she asked.

Arizona rubbed her left thigh. Though the difference was not visible through her pants, the leg felt swollen and sore. A long day of surgeries had kept her on her feet and now she just wanted to get home and take off her leg for the night. “Not that bad,” she deflected. “I've just been tired lately.” Arizona hesitated. For the last two weeks she had been trying to find an opening to talk with Callie, and every time they were alone she found an excuse to put it off. “I've actually been meaning to talk with you about something,” she said. Her stomach twisted. Arizona ignored it. Sofia was busy and she and Callie were alone. If they were going to have this conversation, it might as well be now, before Arizona couldn't hide it any longer and it came out at the hospital. Everything else in their long and bumpy relationship had come to a head at their workplace and Arizona was tired of dealing with all of their personal issues there. “So maybe while we've got a minute…”

Callie sat forward. “What is it?” She tried to keep a neutral tone, but Arizona knew her too well, knew the fear and worry that hid underneath the cool, guarded tone.

“It's nothing bad. Well, it’s…” She stumbled over her words. For two weeks she’d known this conversation would have to happen at some point, but somehow she had never settled on deciding exactly _how_ to bring it up. “You remember when I went to Chicago a few months ago? For the Peds conference?” Callie nodded. “I met someone there.”

“Arizona, I thought we agreed we weren't going to do this?” Callie questioned. After Penny, they had both agreed that it was just too awkward to meet each other's romantic partners. They kept their dating out of the hospital - and away from Sofia. If either of them found a serious relationship, then they could talk about introducing their partner to their daughter. But short of one of them finding a new spouse, they didn't want to confuse Sofia with the comings-and-goings of middle-aged romance.

“No, this isn’t… It wasn't anything serious. Just one night at the conference. I got paged back here for an emergency surgery the morning after, so it wasn't even a conference-long fling.”

“Alright.” Callie’s stiff posture did not ease.

“We met in a session and went for drinks afterward. And dinner. I invited her back to my hotel room.” Arizona glanced down to where her hands rested on her knees - one flesh, one metal. “When we got to the hotel, she had something to tell me before we went upstairs.”

Arizona paused, her eyes fixed on the coffee table.. This was not a conversation she had ever imagined she would be having. “I've never been on birth control, never had a reason for it. And she didn't have any condoms with her. By the time we, er, got to that point, neither of us felt like running out to find an all-night pharmacy and get some.” Arizona flushed just thinking about how unbearably stupid they'd been. Chance of pregnancy aside, unprotected sex with a one-night stand was never a good idea. “When I got home, I did run an STI panel and came up negative. I didn't even think to check for anything else. Then a couple weeks ago, I realized my period was late. More than two months late.”

Callie cocked her head to the side and bit her lip. She was never one to hide her emotions and a smile played at the corner of her mouth. But she kept it contained. “Arizona, you’re pregnant? Are you…? Is this a good thing?”

Arizona raised her eyes to Callie’s. As much as Callie was trying to hold back her excitement, it leaked through in her voice. There was none of the judgement she’d feared and a wave of relief swept over her. She nodded. “I… I think it is.”

The smile Callie had been resisting swept across her face. “W- you're going to have a baby! Oh, god, Sofia is going to be so excited to be a big sister!”

“I haven’t told her yet,” Arizona said. “I know most miscarriages happen before 8 weeks, and I’m already at 11. But I haven’t gotten an ultrasound yet, and I don’t want to get her excited before I-”

“Before you hear the heartbeat,” Callie finished. She stopped and winced, realizing she’d spoken over her. “Sorry.”

Arizona shook her head. Even after their separation, they still tried to work on communicating better. Sofia deserved two moms who could work things out without always fighting. They were both doing better these days, but it was still all too easy to fall into old habits.

“I have an OB-GYN appointment next week,” Arizona said. “If that all checks out, then I’ll tell Sofia.”

“Does the other mom know?” Callie asked. “Is she going with you to see the ultrasound?”

Arizona flushed. She rubbed her eyebrows and sighed. “I want to tell her. She deserves to know. I’ve been asking around with everyone I know who was at the conference, to see if anyone knows her. But I don’t have much to go on - it was a one-night stand almost three months ago. Her name was Jane...Joane...Janet? Something like that. And she’s in family practice, but I have no idea where or what hospital she’s with. Or even if she’s in a hospital at all - family medicine, she could have her own practice.”

“Have you thought about getting a PI to help you look?” Callie asked.

Arizona shrugged. “I'm not sure I can afford it,” she confessed. It was embarrassing, being a middle-aged surgeon who couldn't afford the mortgage on her own house without a roommate. But they had sunk the money from the settlement into buying the hospital and while she didn't regret that investment, owning a hospital didn't exactly pay dividends - or at least not much. Then there were the pro bono surgeries and the fact she'd cut back on her hours compared to when she had been a childless woman with two legs. Plus, prosthetic legs didn't come cheap. Insurance only covered so much and she was still paying off her new leg that she bought last year. By the time she met her monthly expenses, paid her share of Sofia's tuition at the highly-recommended private kindergarten they had found for her, and put aside a little into Sofia's college fund, there was precious little left. _And I'm about to have another child_. She paled at the thought and her stomach flipped over. The vomiting wasn't as bad this time as it had been with her first pregnancy, but she almost wished it were. Puking every morning and then moving on with the day would be vastly preferable to this constant nausea that sat in her belly and rushed up to burn her throat twenty times a day.

“I could help,” Callie offered. She leaned forward and stretched her hand across the coffee table. Arizona mirrored her movement. The skin-on-skin contact steadied her and stopped the trembling Arizona hadn't even noticed running through her body. Callie squeezed her fingers and Arizona closed her eyes, allowing the soothing touch to help push away the queasiness and discomfort.

“You don't need to…” Arizona said, but her tone betrayed her as the words faded.

“No, it’s no problem. If you want to get in touch with Jane/Joane/Janet and tell her you're pregnant, then not being able to find her shouldn't stop you. Let me help you?”


	2. 12 Week Ultrasound

\---one week later--

Arizona fiddled with her phone, turning it over and over in her hand. She never realized how much she used to pace before the plane crash. She could now, if she really wanted to, but as steady and easy as she made it look, walking with a prosthetic still required considerably more effort and energy than with two legs of flesh and bone. Although with the nervous energy that raced through her, maybe burning some of that off with a little bit of pacing would be good. 

Callie knocked before letting herself into the on-call room. “Did you find a good PI?” Arizona asked as soon as the door clicked shut behind her. As strange as it was to have arranged a meeting her ex in an on-call room, they didn't want to talk about anything in the cafeteria or hallways where other people might overhear.

Callie nodded and came to sit next to her on the bottom bunk. “Alias Investigations. They're based in New York, but my dad has used them a couple times and said there's nobody better. There were seventeen thousand people at the conference. We can buy the list of names/contact info from the event organizers and then from there I told Alias Investigations to put together a list of women with J first names. That's still going to be a long list. I didn't say that the woman we're looking for is trans - figure we should protect her privacy as much as possible - but I told them to narrow that list to people who have ever been known by a different first name. Then if they pull pictures offline, you should be able to pick her out, right?”

“Right.” Arizona continued playing with her phone. 

“Are you alright?” Callie asked. 

“I'm fine,” Arizona brushed off her concern. Callie pursed her lips, but didn't say anything. Arizona let a moment pass in silence, then murmured, “No. I'm not.” She dropped her phone onto the mattress and rested her hand palm-up on her leg.

Callie recognized the invitation for what it was and slipped her hand into Arizona’s. She threaded their fingers together and the backs of her knuckles pressed against Arizona's thigh. 

“What am I thinking?” Arizona didn't know that she meant to say the words out loud, but once they slipped past her lips she couldn't take hem back. “What happens if we find the mom, what am I even going to say? What do I do if she wants to be involved? I barely even know the woman, I can’t raise a kid with a complete stranger - who for all I know, lives on the other side of the country. Or what if she wants nothing to do with a kid? Then what? I can't be a single mom, I can't do this alone.”

“You won't be.” 

Arizona's eyes snapped up to Callie's face.

“Alone, I mean. It takes a village, right? When Sofia was born, we had the three of us. And Meredith and Derek had just adopted Zola, so we were all new parents together and could count on babysitting help when we needed it. Now Mark and Derek are gone and Meredith has enough on her plate with raising three kids on her own. Kepner will be thrilled to help you with whatever you need, but she and Jackson are still busy trying to sort their issues out. But you’ve still got me. Not like- I know we're not-” Callie tripped over her words and her fingers tightened against Arizona's hand. “We’re not together. But... you're not alone.” 

Arizona squeezed back. “Thank you.” She paused. “If the ultrasound looks good, I'm going to tell Sofia tonight. That she'll have a little brother or sister in a few months.”

Callie smiled tenderly. “Sof’ll be so happy,” she said. “Finally someone to boss around other than her stuffed animals.” 

Arizona chuckled. “She is quite the little general of her stuffed animal army, isn't she?”

Callie hmm’ed in agreement. 

“Do you want to be there? When I tell her?” Arizona offered. “It is a big change, she might want to have both her moms there.”

“Sure!” Callie's face lit up for a split second before falling. “Wait… no, I have a date tonight.”

“Oh. Right.” 

“Sorry,” Callie said, “you're right that Sofia would probably rather both of us be there. But we've already rainchecked this date twice for surgeries, and I don't want to cancel on them again.”

“No, you should go,” Arizona agreed. “We could talk to Sofia tomorrow - you're off and unless any emergent cases come in, I've got a couple hours between surgeries in the afternoon. I could meet you in the park and we can tell her then.” 

“Sounds good.” Callie stood. “Do you have anybody going with you for the ultrasound today?”

Arizona shook her head. “I haven’t told anybody else yet,” she said.

“Not even Kepner?” 

“I didn’t want to, just in case…” she trailed off momentarily. For once, Callie did not jump in to finish her sentence, merely waited, looking at her expectantly. “In case there is no heartbeat. Like last time.” 

Callie didn’t frown, not quite, but her eyebrows furrowed slightly. Arizona could see her weighing the offer - would coming along be the action of a supportive friend and co-parent or an inappropriate overture from an ex-wife?

“I’m fine,” Arizona said, freeing Callie from needing to make the offer before she even could get there. “And assuming everything goes okay, I’ll have a DVD of the ultrasound so that Sofia can see it after we tell her.”

Callie smiled softly, her tension melting away at the mention of Sofia as a big sister. “She’ll really like that.” 

* * *

Later that afternoon, as Arizona lay back on the crinkly paper that covered the exam table, she almost wished she’d let Callie make the offer. She was fine by herself, it wasn’t like she  _ needed _ her ex to be here holding her hand. But still, it would have been nice to have someone here. The brutal memory of her last, silent ultrasound hovered at the edge of her thoughts. At least if Callie had come with her today, she would have had someone to distract her. 

The ultrasound tech tucked a sheet of paper into the upper waistband of her pants. Arizona didn’t have to disrobe, not for an abdominal ultrasound, but the ultrasound jelly was a sticky mess to get out of clothes, so the tech was sure to place the paper before reaching for the jelly. “This may feel a little cold,” the tech warned, before the jelly touched her skin, shortly followed by the transducer. 

Arizona held her breath as the image on the screen took focus. There it was. The tech was talking to her, describing the image on the screen, but Arizona barely listened. She knew how to read an ultrasound for herself. She could see the flutter of the heartbeat, see the small black spot of fluid in the stomach that showed her fetus was already swallowing amniotic fluid, and… yep, there was another fluid reservoir in the bladder. The kidneys were working; allowing the fetus to swallow, convert the amniotic fluid into urine, and pee that back out into the womb to repeat the cycle. Not the most appetizing prospect perhaps, but all those bodily functions needed plenty of practice before the baby was ready for the outside world. 

“Do you want to hear the heartbeat?” the tech asked.

A lump in Arizona’s throat prevented her from answering. She nodded, the motion jerky and abrupt, her eyes fixed on the screen.

A second later, the sound pumped out of the speakers, filling the room and reverberating in Arizona’s ears. The heart monitor on the screen traced the rise and fall of each rapid pulse. “158 beats per minute,” the ultrasound tech said. “Somebody has a strong little heart in there, beating right on track.” 

Tears stung in Arizona’s eyes and her lips turned up in a trembling smile. Her fingers twitched, reaching without conscious thought for… someone. She wished again that she had let Callie come with her. 

At Sofia’s first ultrasound, all three of them had been present - Arizona, Callie, and Mark. There had been something truly hilarious about Mark and her stumbling over how to introduce themselves, before Callie just sighed and pointed: “Lesbian lover. Baby daddy.” They hadn’t been a family yet at that point, but for a while there, they were. Something in Arizona still ached thinking about that brief window in life when they had all been happy together. Before Mark died. Before she lost her leg. Before everything fell apart.

Sofia had had a family when she was a baby. She had two moms and a dad who loved her unconditionally. Arizona wondered what kind of family this baby would have - no lesbian lover in sight and maybe not even a baby momma, depending on what the PIs found and how J-what’s-her-name reacted to the news. Her stomach clenched. On the monitor, the fetus jumped, squirming and turning inside her. 

_ Well _ , Arizona thought,  _ if nothing else they’ll have me. And a big sister. We’re not a big family, but that’s not nothing. _

The tech wiped the excess jelly off Arizona’s stomach. Arizona sat up and pulled down her shirt before taking the offered DVD wrapped in a plain paper sleeve. “Thanks,” she said. 

As Arizona headed through the double-doors that led to the OB/GYN waiting room, she spotted someone hovering in the hallway just outside the waiting area. “Callie?” 

Callie looked a bit sheepish as she turned to face Arizona, a thermos in each hand. “Hey,” she greeted. She didn’t ask Arizona how it went. The expression on her ex-wife’s face made that plain enough, and if Arizona wanted to share any details, she would. “I have a femur fracture patient in OB, so if anybody asked, I had an excuse to be hanging around,” she clarified. “So if anybody saw me here, they wouldn’t…well, I guess we’re not together anymore, so they wouldn’t immediately assume anything about you anyway.” 

Arizona chuckled. “Didn’t you operate on that femur fracture two days ago?”

Callie smiled. “I’m all about follow-up care,” she said. “Here, I brought something for you.” She held out one of the thermoses and Arizona took it. She sipped slowly, feeling the warm rush flow through her. 

“Mmm, I needed some coffee,” Arizona moaned.

“Coffee? Wait,” Callie said, reaching for the thermos in Arizona’s hand. “That’s mine. Full caffeine - you should be on half-caf at least. This one is yours.” She pushed the second thermos toward Arizona. 

Arizona pouted as Callie pulled the coffee away, then looked warily toward the offered thermos. “What’s in that one?” she asked. 

“Green goop,” Callie said happily. 

Arizona’s lip curled as she tentatively sniffed at the thermos’ opening. 

“It’s better than the stuff you and Mark made for me,” Callie assured her. “I even drink it sometimes, on mornings when I go to the gym. The sugar definitely helps.” 

Arizona took a tentative sip, and then another. “Not bad,” she declared. 

“Told you.” Callie took a deep sip of her own coffee. “Not as good as my coffee, of course, but…” 

Arizona drank the vegetable-thick smoothie which, to Callie’s credit, was not as bitter and chunky as the recipe Arizona had found online when Callie was pregnant with Sofia. As she and Callie stood and drank together in companionable silence, Arizona couldn’t help watching Callie over the rim of her thermos.

She might be a single woman, pregnant in her forties, with no idea how she was going to manage being a single mom, but she wasn’t alone. This baby wouldn’t have the biggest family, but they would have at least one loving mom, if not two (depending on what the PI found), and a big sister and Arizona’s ex-wife/co-parent. That wasn’t nothing. 


	3. Awkward Phone Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not a trans woman. I am nonbinary. I am not an expert on hormones or how HRT affects fertility. When I first got the idea for this story, I knew that trans men could get pregnant accidentally, even while on T, and I assumed it would be a similar situation for trans women. Then I started researching for this fic, and it's not - apparently the hormones most trans women take actually prevent sperm production, so most women are advised to bank sperm before beginning hormones (if their doctor gives them the full information about the drugs and their side effects, which unfortunately is not always the case). So I almost scrapped this story idea then. 
> 
> But because I am nonbinary and am currently pregnant myself, I have been talking more with other trans parents these days and learning about other people's experiences. I do know that it is possible for a trans woman and her partner to have bio kids together, and even for that to happen by accident (as one woman's doctor told her and I quoted in this fic: estrogen is not a contraceptive). I don't know how rare that is, or how much it is affected by a woman being on HRT for a prolonged time beforehand (like Janet in my story), but I figured that gave me enough plausibility that I could go ahead with the story. 
> 
> If I get anything wrong, please let me know so I can fix it; or if the premise of the story itself is offensive or problematic to trans women, I can take it down.

Dr. Janet Hofstadter had seen her last patient for the day, and now sat in front of her computer, trying to finish charting before she went home for the evening. She looked up when her receptionist tapped on the office door.

“There’s a Dr. Robbins on the phone for you,” Ruth said. Janet frowned. The name didn’t seem familiar.

“What’s it about?”

Ruth shrugged. “Said she’s a surgeon in Seattle and needs to talk with you.”

Janet reached for the phone. “Wasn’t the Martinez family going to Seattle on vacation this week? If Liliana fell again…” She whipped the phone to her ear and pressed the blinking line 1, then nodded her thanks to Ruth as the receptionist stepped out the door. “This is Dr. Hofstader,” she said shortly.

“Janet?” Arizona’s voice came over the line. “I don’t know if you remember me, I’m Arizona Robbins - we met in Chicago at the peds conference about four and a half months ago?”

Janet sat back in her chair, the sudden tension dissipating as she realized this was not about one of her patients, but quickly replaced by a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She remembered Arizona, alright, and had even thought about her a couple times after the conference. The one thing she was sure of, however, was that they hadn’t actually exchanged contact info. So for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out _how_ this one-night-stand had tracked her down, much less why.

“Hi, right, Arizona. We met at the panel on LGBT patient care, right? How are you doing?” Janet mentally congratulated herself on the calm, even tone she projected even as her heart raced and her pulse thudded in her ears. Her mind spiraled down an increasingly unpleasant list of possibilities for why Arizona would be calling.

“I’m good - I’m sorry to be calling you out of the blue like this, I know you were probably not expected to hear from me again. But there was something I needed to talk with you about… is this a good time?”

Janet gripped the phone to her ear. _We had unprotected sex_. The realization sank in. That had to be it. Of course, they had both said they were negative for any STIs, and Janet had gotten tested after she got home, but that was no guarantee. It could take as long as 3-6 months for the body with HIV to develop antibodies that would show up on a test… which meant that Arizona could have transmitted it to her without even knowing her own status. “Sure,” she replied.

“Oh, great, that’s, um,” Arizona said, and Janet strained to focus over the ringing in her ears. There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment, during which it sounded like Arizona was working up to saying whatever she’d called about. “I’m calling because I found something out about two months ago, and I wanted to get ahold of you and let you know.”

 _Yeah,_ Janet determined, _That’s it. I’ve been exposed to HIV._ She couldn’t go to any of the other doctors in Bellingham for treatment; she knew too many of them and couldn’t risk it. She’d worked too hard to go stealth since moving here and setting up her practice - the last thing she needed was for it to get out around town. Even in liberal Bellingham, she doubted many parents would want their children’s doctor to be an HIV+ queer trans woman of color. There was a Planned Parenthood in Burlington, would that be far enough away? Maybe she should go to Marysville instead. _I’ll call first thing in the morning; I can get started on antiretrovirals as soon as possible. I’ll have to tell Celeste that she might have been exposed too. Damnit. Finally start seeing someone and now this…_

“I didn’t notice right after getting back, because this isn’t something I usually have to think about, but I realized a little over a month ago that I hadn’t had my periods since before the conference.”

“What?” The ringing in her ears had multiplied tenfold and Janet felt a wave of vertigo.

“I got a blood test and then I went in for an ultrasound about a month ago. I… am pregnant. And you’re… you’re the other mom.”

“No.” Janet forced the word out. “No, that’s not possible. Because getting pregnant takes an egg and sperm, and I don’t…” A familiar sense of anxiety flooded her. Janet leaned forward, bracing her elbows on the desk and rubbing her forehead with her free hand as she tried to breathe steadily. With each breath, she mentally repeated a simple mantra; her latest coping mechanism for dealing with dysphoria.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the silhouette of Ruth still sitting at the receptionist table in the lobby outside her office. “I’ve got… I’m still at work right now; I can’t talk about this. Can you- Give me your number and I’ll call you back in a minute from a private line.” She reached for a notepad and scratched down the number Arizona gave her. Then she put on her coat, picked up her purse, exchanged a moment of small talk with her receptionist, and headed out to her car.

Janet called Arizona back the minute she was in the car. She didn’t even bother putting it in gear. She couldn’t focus enough to both drive and have this conversation. “I don’t produce sperm anymore,” she stated as soon as Arizona picked up. “I have been on HRT since medical school. Every endocrinologist I’ve spoken to says that if you plan on having bio kids, you have to bank sperm before starting hormones.”

“That’s what I’ve read too,” Arizona confirmed. “But there have also been cases of people getting pregnant after being on hormones for years, or...”

“Cases of trans _men_ getting pregnant,” Janet snapped, a bit more harshly than she meant to. “Transmasculine folks taking testosterone is different. And yes, it can happen by accident, but even still most guys have to go off T if they’re trying to get pregnant.”

“I’m sorry, Janet,” Arizona said softly, “I don’t mean… I know this is a tough subject. I am certainly not an expert on this, but our chief endocrinologist at the hospital is also a trans woman, and when I asked her, she said that it is not entirely impossible. Very uncommon, since HRT usually results in infertility, which is why most doctors recommend sperm banking, but…”

“But not 100% impossible.” Janet sighed. She had heard of one or two other cases; usually where a trans woman and her partner were _trying_ to get pregnant and she went off hormones for a while. But Janet had always known that she would never be able to stomach going off hormones for any prolonged period - even missing a few days if she couldn’t get in to see the endocrinologist for her refill prescription was enough to leave her feeling out of sorts and dysphoric. So the possibility of having a bio kid was not something she’d ever allowed herself to consider. “And I guess I’m in the 0.000whatever percent. Well, I did have an endocrinologist tell me once that estrogen is not a contraceptive. Guess I should have paid attention to that part.” Janet shook her head. “Sorry, I just need a minute to wrap my head around this.”

“That’s fine,” Arizona said. “I’ve had some time to get used to the idea. Do you want me to call back later?”

“No, stay on the line,” Janet said. A few moments passed in silence, and Janet heard the sound of a child laughing in the background. “So you’re pregnant? How are you doing?”

“I’m doing good,” Arizona said. “This took me by surprise, but I’m… I’m happy about it. I am going to have this child. And my daughter is 5; she’s thrilled to have a little sibling on the way.”  

Janet felt awash in emotional overload, but that mention of this child… her child?... having a sister brought a small smile to her lips. “I’m glad,” she said. “I’m sure your daughter will be a great big sister.”

Arizona laughed. “Well, some might say ‘bossy,’ but her mom and I are trying to frame it as ‘she’s developing strong leadership skills.’ The little one will certainly learn to stand up for themself with Sofia around.”

“‘Her mom’?” Janet questioned. She was sure that they had talked about their relationship statuses in Chicago. Janet distinctly remembered bemoaning her struggle to connect with other queer women since starting her own practice… although the amount of time she poured into work each week probably had something to do with it. But she couldn’t remember Arizona’s side of the equation.

“My ex,” Arizona clarified. “Callie. She’s a great mom and we still work together at the hospital, so we’ve been co-parenting Sofia ever since we split.”

“That’s great,” Janet said. “So how can… with the baby on the way, how can I…” she trailed off. She didn’t know what she wanted. To support Arizona? To be involved? To be a mother to this child that she hadn’t known about an hour ago? “How can I help?”


End file.
